 |
Circles of Hell joke references
this literary classic |
This is week three in The
Tenth Circle of Hell, as Mr. Klas and I have been referring to it. This is the
reason I haven’t blogged in weeks. Perhaps I could title this blog ‘The Pain and The
Yearning’ or ‘I Chose Bland over Pain’ or I could be brutally honest and title
it what I say to myself often and sometimes aloud, ‘I’m Fracking Hungry!’
I’m
not the healthiest of people, I have severe allergies, a crappy immune system,
(high white blood cell count) photo-sensitivity, hyperglycemia and I internalize
my stress. I do vitamins, allergy tests, acupuncture, light therapy and
Pilates. I like vegetables, salads, meats, fruit, pasta and breads. I make
balanced meals, but I do eat a lot of breads and pasta. I’ve never liked rice
or fish very much. I juice almost daily, eat oatmeal for breakfast four days a
week. I am careful to hydrate and still, I eat charcoal like others use after-dinner
mints because my digestion is always off and very, very, painful.
I’m
blessed to be married to a man who does not demand I engage in excessive
out-door activity, (so my sensitivity to the sun is not worsened) nor does he have
a desire to indulge in unhealthy foods, so I don’t have to battle that
temptation. I am truly blessed!
Lately,
the bouts of insomnia and stomach issues have been overwhelming and I had
severe dark circles under my eyes for the first time ever. He suggested I try a
cleanse…so I thought I’d document the progress. However, it grew into something
different altogether.
Do you like scary movies? Read on.
First
week’s grocery list
Lasagna
noodles, Mozzarella, Ricotta, Parmesan, Sauce, Greek Yogurts, ice cream, ice
cream bars, Jalapeño chips (Because Mr Klas has to eat too)
Kidney/dandelion
tea
Parsley
Spinach
Kale
Onion
Celery
Lemons
Apples
Cucumbers
(organic)
Mint
Beets
Banana
Carrots
(organic)
Sweet potato
Pears
Green pepper
Collards or
chard
Cilantro
Romaine
Avocado
Raw almonds
Plain Greek
Yogurt
Coconut
juice
Cherry Juice
Cranberry Juice
Watermelon
Really
the kidney cleanse wasn’t bad, I found a great blog, and her smoothie’s and juices were yummy. Since I’m hyperglycemic, I couldn’t go three days with only
that sugar from the juices and fruit, so I did eat almonds, some grilled
chicken and some of the leftover ingredients. (mmm avocado). The first day I
could feel my kidney and bladder
working. I was definitely low energy the first and second day and to micturate more than normal. The third day I was grumpy, I just wanted a sandwich, I was
over it.
On
the day after the fast, day four, I noticed the discoloration under my eyes was
almost completely gone and I felt good. I actually felt good. I didn’t have any stomach issues
during those four days, (other than the normal steady stomach ache) so I was
excited to tell Pop about it (he struggles with kidney stones) and I planned on
doing it again in a few weeks and would make some extra for him to try. Mom
decided to opt-out as it is required to go caffeine free for three days.
After
the cleanse, Mr. Klas and I made a trip out of town and saw my husband’s Uncle Harold, who
is a naturopath-chiropractor-makes-his-own-vitamins-genius. He ran my blood and
for the first time I got to see what my high white cell count looked like
(kinda scary, not gonna lie) then we sat and watched my white blood cells die
as he pointed out bacteria and parasites in my blood. (eww) We discussed my
medical history, and he prescribed some vitamins, offered to irradiate my blood
and do a chiropractic adjustment.
I’ve
been to a chiropractor before, but this man made me sound like a roll of
packing bubbles being twisted and popped. (I felt all better the next day) The
blood thing made me a little dizzy, but next time we are in town I’ll stop by
and see if it helped.
Later
that day, we drove out to see a gal named Betty that does muscle testing. First
thing she mentioned (that Harold mentioned too) was to take out my belly ring.
Having piercings along the center of your body goofs up your energy flow. SO
there went that.
A
few things popped up as she tested me, but she decided my guts were a mess, and
a primary concern, so she started there. She agreed with the vitamins Harold
gave me, and suggested a different dosage. She said for the next 90 days I
needed to avoid some foods.
‘No
problem.’ I said
She
then held my hand and with very serious big blue eyes she said. ‘No oatmeal, no
granola.’
I
started to cry.
Who
cries when their oatmeal is taken away? Me.
‘No
crackers, no tortillas. No wheat or grains okay? Let's try this for 90 days and see if it helps.’ She says.
So
it could be worse right? I can still have a juicy steak, veggies and a glass of
wine for dinner. And I can check in a few weeks to see if things are getting
better. I don’t have to have
croutons in my salad, and I can live
without regular beer. See what a positive attitude I have?
I
was going to do a daily log for you, but it was getting ugly, so I’ll just give
you the week by week review and later add links to the yummy recipes I found, because of
hindsight being what it is.
Week
1
What
I am cutting out, includes, oats, wheat, grains and corn.
This is NOT gluten free. It's beyond that, lots of 'Gluten Free' has corn starch, corn syrup. I can not have corn, so basically
everything but rice is out. I can have rice. Did I ever share with you how much
I DON’T like rice?
The
first few days I was craving things, just because I couldn’t have them. I’ve
never been the kind of gal that liked being told what to do, but as this is my
health, I decided not to be a rebel without a cause
(though I do love the
movie).
So
the first few days I was craving Doritos (I never ever buy Doritos), I seriously wanted a
sandwich, or toast, or pasta, pizza, vanilla syrup in my coffee…but as this is
not a diet, I can’t just cheat. I have to endure, to see if wheat (or something
in that category) is the issue.
The
last few days of the week I wasn’t moping over the food I was missing, I
legitimately felt hungry, even when my stomach was full.
My body wanted
something and I could not do anything about it. This is the closest I have felt
to being an addict. I didn’t have the energy or strength to work out (my body
was transitioning from getting energy from my normal carbs and sugars, to
gaining energy from only protein). I couldn’t sleep all week, I couldn’t get
comfortable. I was cranky, and had a very short fuse, my skin was crawling. Who
knew one could have food-withdrawals?
The
vitamins made me throw up, so I called Betty and we lowered the vitamin dosage.
Friday
night I finally slept a few hours. I felt normal-hungry the first Saturday morning.
Recipes
Squash
and Shrimp Alfredo
Kale
Chips
Taco
meat and rice chips
Rice
Crackers and Cheese
Week
two of cleanse
Okay,
I cheated.
I had a half of one of those tiny Pepsi bottles. Within 30min I was
in pain that I had forgotten I used to be in all the time. Holy cow.
So I thought, what the heck, I've already done some damage, I have to start the 90 days over so why not have some
toast! Double ouch.
It took a few days for the pain to go away, pain caused by eating what I shouldn't. I hardly ate
anything for those few days and ditched the vitamins. I need to remember, this
is not a diet, this a lifestyle change! Perhaps I had to test things and know for
sure, but I cannot imagine going back to the way things were. Still I am trying to
keep up with the vitamins.
Recipes
Spaghetti
Squash Boat
Squash
and Shrimp Alfredo
Eggplant
Lasagna
Gluten
Free Bread
Mashed
Potato stuffed with Broccoli, topped with Ruth’s Cheese sauce
Week
Three
This
recipe thing is getting easier. I found a few awesome bread recipes and they go
well with this tasteless Chicken Rice Noodle Soup and this edible Stu recipe.
Breakfast
time is really getting to me. Have you ever had rice cereal? Some of you feed
this to your babies. Have you eaten it? Did I mention how I feel about rice?
(Should I insert the picture of Toby Maguire sniveling here?) Thankfully we got some fresh peaches and that helped me masticate it. Also, before you suggest I
eat eggs for breakfast, eggs are a food I have had allergies to for many years,
so I don’t like to eat them too often.
Do
I sound whiney? Because I am. I miss what I used to eat. This is probably the
most emotionally difficult week so far. You should probably pray for my husband.
What
to take away from this? My stomach does not hurt, my digestion
is positively spiffing. I don’t know that this has ever been the case. Stomach
pain and suffering have been the norm for me as long as I can remember. This is amazing! However, I still think that I
feel like I am hungry. Or do I really just think that I ‘need’ what I am used
to eating? (wheat and grains). I’ll ponder that as I go into week four.
Is week four going to be worth it? Yes!
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